Purging

am now on the new mindset that I am going to purge myself of everything shitty that seems to come up and bite me in the ass.


I am going to try and look at everything as an opportunity. Every day is an opportunity to live. A gift that we are given to get up and take advantage of all that we've got.

My heart is so shredded from several different things, one in particular as of late. There are so many of you that have helped me keep it together and it means more to me than you know. Victor, my meowums, texas :) Though many of us have only been together for three months, you have all changed me so much and allowed me to see more of myself and the world. I pull my strength from you.

I am a lesbian. It is to the point now where practically everyone here knows it. That is except for Darla and Bruce. Or I should say everyone of importance that it actually matters to me whether they know or not. Nickname The Lez and The Jew(because when you try and type in lez to T9 jew is one of the options. so if your jewish and this offends...you have no sesne of humor.)

I am letting go. It hurts me so much to do it, and I have to constantly remind myself that there is someone out there who will care and love me as much as I care and love her. She's out there. Hell, she might even be here. Which is a bit weird to think of because it is after all South Dakota, but hey you never know. So yes, I am moving on. My heart is ripping from my chest and my soul is bleeding, but in the end, it will actually heal and quit being such a festering wound that keeps splitting open all the time.

Okay, so let's see how long this lasts till I implode. lol, it's okay, I've got writing, singing, and acting as my outlets, I'll be okay :)