sicky poo

A cute way to say that I'm hacking up gross yellow green shit. It's no fun, but hey, it won't kill me, so it's okay. I feel like a big walking ball of germs and I'm contaminating everything. I'm not a germaphobe, no not at all.

So my friend Meg came from florida to visit me over thanksgiving. I'm was so glad when she left. I feel horrible saying that, but I did. She didn't want to do anything because it was too cold, so we were cooped up in my dorm room and it wasn't fun. Jem isn't the only one who thinks that Meg's in love with me. A few other people got that vibe too. That kind of bothers me. I don't see her like that at all, and so it kind of kills the friendship mood and just gets annoying. Anyway, I have a new resolution.

I am going to look on everyday as an opportunity, not as a drag. If a day is boring, it's an opportunity to make it more exciting. To use my imagination and find something to do. That's just an example. There are too many things I take for granted, and I realize that. Everyday and second God gives me air to breath, and the gift of life. I need to do something with it! Since I'm so easily amused anyway, why can't I look on life that same way? Find the beauty in the mundane? I mean that's not totally possible because well, let's face it, I can't completely change the way my mind works, but you get my drift I hope. I am going to start rehearsing. No more excuses, not more shit. I am not going to waste my time. There's no point. I want to get somewhere and feeling like I'm not getting anywhere because I'm doing anything isn't going to cut it anymore. So there!

I thought I was going to have the conversation to end them all with Jem. I thought she was fianlly going to let me go and tell me to leave her the hell alone. But she didn't. And that kind of made me happy. It made me happy because she still wants me there even thought she's still scared out of her fucking mind or what not. I dunno. We'll see.

Wow, the discovery channel is just plain weird. I'm currently kind of distrubed. Oh okay, the monkey human gave to baby back. Never mind. Ew! dead monkey human. Oh God this is really weird.