Depression hit me last Sunday. I didn't want to write about it until now because I would remind myself of how bad I felt. I went to the Newman Center, got into the actual church and basically exploded into tears.
I came to the whole realization that being a Catholic and a lesbian were kind of ironic since the Catholic Church believes that being gay is wrong. So I had this miniature break down of how can I be myself, and keep my faith, and then I talked to Darla, and she helped me see that God is a forgiving and loving God, not a spiteful, condemner. But I guess you can't paint God to be the way you want him to be, that's not right. So really I don't know. I can't not be a lesbian. Trust, I spent all last week trying...and failed miserably. Well, I least I really know that I am. Perhaps one day everything will actually fall into place and life will really make sense. I can't wait to see Jem again. I miss her so very much.
Oh, hormones are being crazy! My friends and I were watching a movie and a lesbian came along named Gina, and ugh, just wanted to kiss her. Not really attracted to her, but it was there. AH! Not good.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
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Actually, a lesbian couple who are my best friend attend the Newman Center. The Priest there is very accepting. Remember this -- according to the Catholic church, being gay is not a sin, but rather acting on it is. If you were to talk to a conservative priest about it, he would probably tell you to become a nun -- which is really like saying "here kid, go into this candy store."
I am not trying to push anything on you, but if you are interested in attending a church that will support you and validate your gayness the UCC church here is great (they held a lesbian wedding this summer) and the Methodist church here is Reconciling. This means that they are in high support of gays and have a whole committee on how to provide for the needs of GLBTQ people. I actually am the leader of that committee so if you are interested, let me know.
Again, I am not pushing you in any religious direction, but merely informing you about your options.
Oh, also, on Nov. 29th in Farber Hall a movie called "For the Bible Tells Me So" is showing. I have seen the first 20 minutes and it is awesome. You should definatly go; I'll be there for sure.
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