Natural Ponderings

She had been attempting to make herself happy by relying on the whim of the women around her. She became attached quickly and would be fast to admit to love if it meant being able to caress one more time. Unfortunately, she usually failed in the attempt to hold on, and was resolutely left sitting on the same corner she started at. After all the rejections, heart breaks, and failures to receive an orgasmic performance, she began to question herself. Was there something wrong with her? Was that why she was being dumped at the same exact corner, unable to move from it? Well, not even being dumped, she thought, simply not being asked out. Fucked around with happened, but there was a failure to take it to any next level that everyone knew existed.

After one horrible incident, which was followed by her lying in bed moping all day the previous day, and calling all her straight best friends and whining to them about it, she decided to set out and figure out what the hell was wrong with the world.

She found it interesting that after coming out as a lesbian, men started looking at her. Wherever she went, she was always sure to catch at least one man's eye. The women she caught the eyes of…well she failed to catch any of their eyes. It seemed to her that coming out a lesbian, gave her an extreme boost of confidence, and the courage to stand up and look like, "I don't give a bloody shit what you think, so move right along in your course of life and leave mine to my own devices." Or perhaps, the men sensed there was something unattainable about her, and well, everyone wants what they can't have. She did have a flock of rather ugly lesbians begin to take an interest immediately after she came out, but she dispersed of them as kindly and quickly as she could. They were not the type of fish in the sea she was after. No, she was after someone in particular, she couldn't say what it was exactly she was looking for, except that whoever she ended up with, would simply and beautifully fit.